Me cuddling with the person I like: Omg. This is so nice. Lets just hold each other forever and be next to each other. I just want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heart. Nothing else needs to happen. This is so sweet and romantic. I love cuddling with you.
Me two minutes later: Lol screw this. Take your pants off.
Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.
Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM
Plato: *high fives Socrates*
Hillary Clinton on what designers she wears:
Interviewer: Okay. Which designers do you prefer?
Hillary Clinton: What designers of clothes?
Hillary Clinton: Would you ever ask a man that question?
Interviewer: Probably not. Probably not.
Me: I won't let it bother me I won't let it bother me I won't let it bother me
Me: *lays down to sleep at night*
Me: It bothers me, actually it really fucking bothers me, so let's lay here and think and stress about it instead of sleeping.
cybergay: sleeping all day is a great way to avoid dealing with anything ever
Refusing to follow people because they post those “girls, did you know that your boobs go inside your shirts?” photosets. Piss off you ignorant twats.
heathyr: I hate it when you just randomly get hit with crippling embarrassment over something you did years ago and you’re writhing with your hands over your face trying to tell the memory to go away omg shut the fuck up
parvenus: i think the platypus was the sorry aftermath of some zoo orgie
Kristen Stewart may say she’s sorry for cheating, her lack of expression tells me otherwise though
Why I Love My Mother
Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.
My life is a struggle between wanting to watch what I haven’t yet watched and wanting to rewatch what I have…
Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.– David Foster Wallace
rumour: too ugly to date attractive people too attractive to date ugly people
Well excUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu se me
lovebugloki: there’s a special place in hell for people who throw away pizza crusts.